Monday, August 17, 2009

Dishwashers: Impossible Riddles of the Midwest

I don't believe a spiritual journey truly ever ends for human beings, AKA "the thinking mammals." So even though I am back in Long Beach, Calif., the journey continues. What am I looking for? I don't know - probably the same thing you're looking for.

I have no grand statements to make of my four-legged spiritual journey (Tahoe, Austin, Portland, Cleveland the Homeland), but have realized several truths during my voyage. Here are a few of them:
1) Don't discount the power of a shiny, classy belt buckle (Austin).
2) Siete Tres is a better drink when the ingredients are not disclosed (Portland).
3) Emptying a dishwasher at 1 a.m. in Cleveland following a party of 27 proves to be not only baffling, but most likely impossible.
With my two beautiful daughters in my homeland, I attempted to make up for lost time by visiting with relatives and friends as much as possible. My mom even had an open house, where 27 people attended. After this event, the X Man and I played some pool and discussed our wide-ranging philosophies.

These sessions of pool and philosophy prove to be enjoyable for both the X Man and me because we have many similarities when it comes to both pool and philosophy. Then, when we finished this particular session, we noticed a seemingly innocuous site - clean dishes in the dishwasher.

By the power of Greystoke, emptying this dishwasher turned out to be one of the most difficult tasks I've run across in the past 20 years. Where were all those forks coming from? Who in the world has an infinite supply of silverware? How can all this fit in one drawer?

The X Man and I tried our best, though we seemed to make obvious mistakes during the emptying process. We may have broken a drawer by cramming the silverware into it. ... In the morning, my mom explained that there were multiple drawers for the silverware. In retrospect, that fact makes perfect sense, but at the time, X and I were locked in some sort of unsolvable Rubik's Cube of silverware.

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