Monday, January 23, 2012

Collection is beyond him

Life continues to be strange for Snooze Button Generation CEO and founder Joe Stevens as he recovers from giving away his Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon collection.

The collection had ballooned to 43 in December, and in a Yankee swap white elephant type of game, he gave away his Bed, Bath & Beyond coupon collection and a bonus gift card. With a month passing, Stevens expected the collection to return and be at three. But the collection is only at one.

"Look," Stevens said. "I'm not collecting them any more. I might get a new can opener. What's so wrong about that?"

During the Yankee swap, a friend Liz picked the nicely concealed 43 coupons. She appeared quite happy and/or confused. Later in the night, the coupons were stolen, all within the confines of the game, by a friend Dave. Even though Stevens fully said he knew the rules of the game, that seemed to confuse him.Stevens' daughters have recovered from the loss of the Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons. Stevens is full of some sort of odd regret that the collection went from 28 in December 2010 to only 43 in December 2011. The collection stood at eight in Sept. 2009.

Although Stevens repeatedly says he is "amazed" and/or "baffled" by the accumulation of 43 Bed, Bath & Beyond coupons, intense mathematics have shown that a coupon tends to come once a month.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Hyperreality at Factory of Sadness

"I'm Fred Stevens. Welcome to Jackass!"

Although my brother never said those words, our trip to the Factory of Sadness during the Cleveland Browns' final game of the season turned into our version of "Jackass."

Apparently, my cousin Carlos, AKA "Know It All," has a history of hurting and/or attempting to hurt my brother at Browns games. Two years ago, he randomly tackled my bro as they approached the Factory.

As a gift to his groomsmen, my bro gave tickets to his best man J.T., me, Know It All, the World's Most Sophisticated Man and Scrappy Boy to the last game of the season. Jack, Know It All's 5-year-old son and my nephew, also joined our wolfpack.

Some sort of hyperreality ensued at the Factory of Sadness as we tailgated and cheered for our hapless Browns, who lost 13-9 to Pittsburgh and finished their season 4-12. At one point, Know It All wore of necklace of links.Eventually, snow came to the Factory of Sadness, and I am unsure what to conclude about my first trip to this place.

I guess that the event was a success because our wolfpack had fun. The Cleveland Browns, of course, have been a laughingstock since returning to the NFL in 1999. That followed a three-year hiatus as ridiculously immoral owner Art Modell moved the team to Baltimore.

Not to be too morose, but I have a theory that the Browns will continue to be horrible until Modell physically dies. Yeah, it's a bit strange and dark, but mark my words, the Browns will continue to be bad until that happens. Happy New Year, Mr. Modell!

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Feliz Año Nuevo!

Useful international economists are hard to find. Many times, the economist has ulterior motives when prognosticating on currencies, or the economist is simply wrong.

Luckily for 2012, Snooze Button Generation founder and CEO Joe Stevens has become an expert on the world economy, following just one trip to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

"Really, poverty in other countries is way worse than in the U.S.," Stevens said. "And another thing, you got to always talk vendors down. Why pay 780 pesos when that's not necessary?"

Stevens' 780 pesos comment was a reference to a death-defying zipline tour. The tour was listed as costing 780 per person. Stevens got the tour for 550 pesos for two.

Stevens remains traveling this holiday season and is in Cleveland for the first week of January. Blogging has been difficult for him because of the travel and the fact that he has made himself available for interviews about the world economy.

The holiday season is about family, friends, happiness and pie. Stevens is happy that 2011 has ended because of the various tragedies he encountered in 2011. But there are signs of a good year coming.

Feliz Año Nuevo!