Friday, January 8, 2010

A beauty tip for men

I have attempted to figure out why so many women have plastic surgery, compared to why so few men have it. And the answer is simple: Men are schlubs.

I am all for self-improvement, and I am confused why more men don't opt for Botox, collagen treatments or breast implants.

A friend informs me that society makes it so Botox and breast implants are only for ladies. Well, obviously, society is messed up.

According to a Forbes article, the top three plastic surgeries for guys are laser hair removal, nose jobs and liposuction. Come on, guys, why not some sort of implant?
OK, maybe a lot of my plan sounds better on paper than in practice, but why don't dudes get some type of surgery to enhance their lives? I am a big fan of Ned from South Park, the character with the voicebox, AKA a mechanical larynx. I also have always thought Darth Vader is a dramatic character because of his breathy voice.

Why don't more men get voicebox implants for dramatic effect? Ideally, the guys would not have to always talk with the mechanical voice, but when a dramatic moment happens, the guy could answer with the dramatic voicebox.

Preacher: Do you, John, take Susan to be your lawfully wedded wife?
John (with mechanical voicebox): I do.
Susan (fighting back tears): I love you so much, dear.

Get with it, guys!

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