
After years of giving advice, though, I have finally discovered the best two words to tell any young, potential loverboy - Drakkar Noir.
As any gentleman knows, a man's scent is what attracts ladies. Drakkar Noir is the perfect combination of wolf pheromones and tangerine undertones with a hint of rear-view mirror air freshener. I'm pretty sure it's an afro disiac for all mammals, including hippopotamuses, hyenas and classy ladies.
I speak from experience. Back when I was 14, I got my hands on some wonderful Drakkar Noir and immediately added maturity to my life and attracted women. Soon, I was sipping martinis on yachts, modeling Top Siders and playing baccarat in destinations including Monaco, the French Riviera and Garfield Heights, Ohio.
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