What's more important an 'A' or grit?

The curriculums of schools are exceptionally important. Nationwide, I'd love to see them updated in public schools, but that is such a daunting task, that I'm not too optimistic about that.

While I don't want to diminish the importance of what kids learn, I want to stress the importance of how they learn. I believe the key to education is to develop traits, more so than conventional classes.

So Angela Duckworth's 2016 book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance could have been in the education or personal growth part of this project. But I'm putting it in the parenting category because grit is arguably the most important trait any child can develop.

I define grit as courage or resolve in the face of adversity. I add on, that my understanding of grit is not only to "roll with the punches," but to embrace the punches. "Hey, Ray, I never went down, man! You never got me down, Ray! You hear me, you never got me down."

Another reason why Grit is in the parenting category is that you can't bank on it being learned in school. Explicit character instruction is either superficial or devolves into cliche. Grit could be learned implicitly, but I think there are more teachable moments at home.

"In the real world," as we Gen Xers like to say, "things don't always go your way." With the advent of personal technology and personalized entertainment, children need to understand that things "in the real world" don't revolve around them and that they need to know how to adapt to this.

We can't succeed unless we risk failure, and the more we fail, the more that may show that we're risk-taking and developing grit. As a Cleveland sports fan, I would say that my entire city is full of grit. Or maybe I'm just full of sh--!

We can all glean ideas from tiger moms

When Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother came out in 2011, it caused quite a stir. However, upon reading it for myself, I realized that the book was misinterpreted. At least, I felt that way.

Amy Chua's "tiger mom" book does not portray her as an over-the-edge, strive-at-any-cost mom. Not really. It is, like its title says, an anthem for moms like her. I walked away from the book, thinking that I needed to push my kids more at times and not be so gosh darn permissive.

It's hard for me to think of a book more in my demographic. I teach at a school with an Asian population of about 65 percent. My daughters are half Asian, and Chua's husband is white.

I could relate to a lot of the exchanges between her and husband and the dynamic of having two much different daughters. She does retreat, at times, from traditional Chinese parenting, and I believe a lesson to all is that young parents may not think closely enough about family history and parenting style. Chua obviously does, and I recommend being proactive in looking at the parenting styles of oneself and the spouse.

I venture to say that most parents, especially from different ethnic backgrounds, have to accept the other's style or find a middle ground. In Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, those different styles are on display for the whole world to see, and I appreciate Chua's candor and letting us into her world.

Chua has become a celebrity since the tiger mom book, and I find her 2014 book also interesting, The Triple Package: How Three Unlikely Traits Explain the Rise and Fall of Cultural Groups in America co-written with her husband Jed Rubenfeld. Those three traits are a superiority complex, insecurity and impulse control.

Asians in America have long been described as "the model minority," which is definitely stereotypical, especially considering the vast diversity within the Asian-American community. However, I often do see a superiority complex, insecurity and impulse control with my Asian-American students.

The trait that strikes me as most interesting for success is insecurity. It's likely true, especially for achievers who commit to some type of hard-working life that can be spiritually vacuous. How else can we explain wildly successful attorneys?

Anyway, if you haven't read it yet, check out the tiger mom book. It's also nice to watch how Chua's life and writing career are progressing.