Tongue piercings: Perfect for sex addicts

As a sophisticated male, I stay abreast of the latest developments in fashion and style and sometimes follow them. My goal is to push the boundaries of fashion, but not push them too far to startle my grandmother.

A tongue piercing might scare my nana, but then again, she might not notice it. So it is something to consider.

After deliberating for a tortuous 100 seconds, I have opted not to get a tongue piercing. And the reason why is simple math.

When making any important decision, I make a list of pros and cons, and through vast Internet research, I have found the greatest pro for having a tongue piercing is that it enhances oral sex.

I assume that having a tongue piercing makes eating less comfortable, and on average, humans eat three meals per day. By using simple mathematics, I recommend tongue piercings for people who engage in oral sex more than three times a day. But through my experience, I do not believe many people actually have oral sex that much.

This all reminds me of an old joke: How are oral sex and eggs Benedict alike?Answer: You can't get them at home.