Saturday, October 1, 2011

Hair bands kick off Rocktober

The Snooze Button Generation is pleased to announce that today is the first day of "Rocktober" and the SBG will be focusing on rock 'n' roll for the entire month. We will kick off Rocktober by focusing on THE GREATEST HAIR BANDS OF ALL-TIME.

Now, SBG CEO and founder Joe Stevens never was into hair bands, but he respects their cultural significance. By merely growing up in Cleveland, Ohio, in the 1980s, Stevens has official status as a "connoisseur of hair bands."

With that said, the best three hair bands of all-time are Poison, Ratt and Motley Crue. Case closed.

The tricky thing about that assertion is the definition of what exactly makes a "hair band." Motley Crue, for example, is more than a mere hair band, so let's give the crown to Poison with Ratt in second place.

A hair band, for anyone culturally unaware, is a heavy metal or hard rock band from the 1980s that had a overload of hair. In most sophisticated circles, it is gauche to like these bands, but secretly, many people like some of their songs.

Hair bands were out of fashion for the '90s and the bulk of the early 2000s, but nowadays, they've been so lame for so long, that they're not so bad any more. Honestly, a handful of hair band songs totally rock. Right?After Poison, Ratt and the Crue, the next tier of hair bands features Bon Jovi, Cinderella, Skid Row, Warrant, Winger and Whitesnake.

If another tier exists after that, let's go with Stryper, Europe, White Lion and Great White. Sort of like the Crue, Guns 'N' Roses, Def Leppard, Metallica and a few other bands can't quite make the list because they are more than mere hair bands.

And Dokken and Queensryche just suck.
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